Surprisingly, I’m pretty dang good with handling my anxiety when it comes to Christmas shopping, or any kind of shopping in general. For me, shopping is a getaway from my problems and relax, walk around, and shop. Even if it’s just a pen from the dollar store, it’s oddly comforting.

So when Christmas rolls around, I don’t freak out over shopping. I don’t have a problem with it in general. I do however have a problem with traffic in parking lots, long lines, and getting too hot in crowds.

So far, I’ve bought gifts for everyone except for my parents and I need to get a couple of small things for my friends to add to their gifts.

My husband and I have a different gift-giving thingy going on this year. I like buying gifts, so I often buy gifts for my husband without him knowing all the time. He hates it. He doesn’t like money being spent on him.

This year he has made it adamant that I don’t buy him any gifts, (even though I already bought him a shirt, I decided to give it to him when he made me agree not to get him any Christmas gifts). He wasn’t sure what to get me for Christmas, and he didn’t want to just buy me money, so while we were Christmas shopping the other day he made me pick out a few things I liked for myself and he bought them for me.

He ended up buying me an Aquaman diecast figurine. (Honestly haven’t seen Superman vs. Batman or the Justice League yet, but damn Jason Momoa looks good and he’s going to be playing Eric Draven in the reboot of The Crow movie. He also bought me a little set of Disney Tsum Tsum gel pens/highlighters and a Clockwork Orange t-shirt. We finished it off by having a delicious dinner and dessert at Swiss Chalet with a coupon my parents gave us haha.

I love the gifts, but it really doesn’t seem fair to me that he buys me gifts for Christmas and I’m not allowed to buy him anything, not even a Steam gift card, which was my go-to gift because he loves buying games off of Steam. It really made him upset if I buy him gifts, so for now I’ll agree to his wishes.

Really, the main thing I would love for Christmas is my husband’s PR to come back to us finished. It’s been over a year now. It’s basically a huge waiting game. We emailed them a few months back on the status of it, and we got an email back saying it was processing. Then in August we received a letter stating that they needed our background checks done and mailed to them, so we did that. Since then, however, nothing else. I believe the last part is a health check on both of us, and then after that I believe it’s done.

Back to Christmas shopping…love it. But when I’m in a small store and it gets filled with shoppers, it starts to become overwhelming for me and I become hot. When I get overly hot, I become more sensitive and more aware of my anxiety. From there, I suddenly feel the need to use the bathroom, so I either need to drop what I’m about to buy and run to the bathroom, wait it out and purchase the items, or if my husband’s with me, he pays for it for me while I go to the bathroom.

Also long lines suck the life out of me. Not only do long lines make me anxious because I can be super impatient, but my knee will give out if I stand in one place for too long. (Long story, happened during my third year of university, will regret it forever.)

I’m a pretty good driver, but when everyone in the city is out shopping at once, I become very tense. There have been drivers who will run through a red light without blinking. I’ve even seen multiple cars, one after another, go through a red light. I trust my driving, just not everyone else’s.

I also have a small Christmas dinner with a group of coworkers and my EDA this Friday at Boston Pizza. Normally I would have said no, because outings with people aren’t really my thing, it heightens my anxiety; but I’ve really grown close to some of my coworkers and it’s just to a restaurant. So I’ll be fine. I also want to pass out some Christmas cards to my coworkers, I just received a super cute one today with a fox and a deer making a snowman on it.